E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 3, 2006 9:41:37 GMT -5
A look of surprise had come over Apri’s face as Killian grew silent for the first time since she had come into the room. Watching as his hands moved to hover over hers, she blushed slight as a smile came to her face and peace came to Killian’s own. At the feel of his hands gently upon her own, she stopped her ‘shh’ and replaced it with real words, knowing now that his eyes were open that he was awake and no longer dreaming…
“Killian…” she said softly, pausing as a slight worried look came over her own face now. She had wanted to say it was okay, it was over, the nightmare was done. But now she realized that he was awake and it had been her that woke him. Would he be upset with her for letting herself into his room? Remembering the words he had just spoke, she didn’t think he could be too upset…
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Post by shawncameron on May 3, 2006 11:42:13 GMT -5
That voice, saying his name… was he still dreaming? No… he couldn’t see, though the memories of the dream where still clinging to the edge of his mind. But the way his name was spoken, it was different… he closed his fingers around the something on his chest only to realize what it was…
Killian sat straight up, turning his torso toward the woman beside him, his eyes wide but his hand still holding hers, “Apricus! What’s wrong? What happened?” he brought one of his hands up to run through his hair, his other still holding her though it hadn’t hit him just yet that he was holding her hand. “What time is it? Are you ok?”
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 3, 2006 12:49:52 GMT -5
Finding the mad sit bolt upright as he realized that he was awake and that she was in fact in his room made Apri jump. The sudden bombardment of questions and her blushing deeply as she wondered how on earth she was going to explain herself. By the sound of his voice, he seemed worried that something was wrong with her when, moments before, it had been quite the opposite.
“Its halfway thru the night… Killian… calm down…” she said softly. Her hand still held by his and to his chest she could feel his heart beating. “I’m alright… You were having a nightmare… I was worried about you…” she tried to explain and calm him at the same time. Vaguely she wondered if this was any better than him dreaming, but she quickly shook the thought from her mind. With him awake he could at least hear her.
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Post by shawncameron on May 3, 2006 22:53:54 GMT -5
Killian ran that same hand through his hair again, whispering his next words, “a nightmare… yes, but…” he turned back to her, “your all right? Nothing is wrong? Did I… did I wake you up?” it had been a wile since he had really talked in his sleep normally his roommate would throw something, like a shoe or his own staff when he did that. “I’m sorry…” he brought his hand back down to his other one holding it and hers, “I didn’t say anything strange did I?” he may have woken up on his own but he was still slightly out of it, his groggy mind was trying focus on Apricus wile pushing the images of her in his dream away.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 4, 2006 8:22:56 GMT -5
Apri tilted her head as she listened to the man whisper to himself before turning once again back to her. Hearing his words, she looked down needing to find something else to focus on while she arranged her words. Finding her gaze lingering on their hands, hers folded within his, she smiled and decided exactly what she wanted to say and what she would keep to herself.
"No, you did not wake me... I couldn't sleep..." Taking a small breath she continued, still looking at their hands with a soft smile on her lips. Beneath any other man's hand, her own would have felt trapped and vulnerable, but beneath Killian's she found a sensation of comfort and warmth. There was not a shred of pain anywhere in his simple touch.
"I... I heard you talking and came in... You were dreaming... I... I wanted to calm you..." she said with a slight sigh, she was at a loss of words for how else to put the desire she had found when he was dreaming. Remembering his words, they ran slow circles in her head repeating over and over the simple phrase 'I do... I do want to hold her... to see her.
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Post by shawncameron on May 4, 2006 20:56:22 GMT -5
“I… I worried you?” he was puzzled, why would she care if he was having a nightmare if it wasn’t keeping her up. He thought of the dream again and what he might have said but it was all too jumbled. He ran his hand through his hair yet again trying to think only to stop half way all of the color draining form his face, what had he said? Did he… did he say that out loud? Did she know? Know that he had lied to her, that he really was as bad as those other men. “What… what did I say…?” he was talking more to himself then to her as his hands began to shake slightly.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 4, 2006 21:10:03 GMT -5
Feeling his hands begin to shake, she shook her head silently kicking herself for not explaining as she lifted her other hand to clasp the one that held hers, trying to steady it. What should she say? Should she give him the whole truth, or just enough? Deciding to start from the beginning, she tried to remember what he had first said to bring her into the room.
?You? you had said something about? about something burning, though I know not what?? Breaking off, her mind wandered back to those words, those last words he had said while he was dreaming. Did he really mean those? No matter which way she looked at the words, they had still been said with that same tone? a tone that could only remind Apri of someone speaking their heart.
?Killian? Why? Why did you lie to me?? she blurted out finally. Hearing the words however, she instantly wished she could have taken them back. Unable to, however, she could at least clarify the question better and she did so after a short pause. ?? About wanting to see me??
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Post by shawncameron on May 4, 2006 21:28:28 GMT -5
“Burning… yes the fire…” he was remembering now, the dream had started out the same way it always did, forcing him to relive his past. But after that… after that was the mirror. He brought his hand down from his hair placing it over the new hand resting on his. He was still confused what all had he said out loud? His heart had sunk when he realized that she had been in the room for the last part of that dream. He was facing their hands, not seeing them but feeling them… what was he doing? What was this thing he was holding…
When she said her next words he realized. Eyes widened as whatever color was left in his face drained completely away. He let go of both of her hands quickly, though he did not jerk away, just opened his fingers. “I’m sorry! I… I…” he was trembling all over, his face facing her though he could not see her. All of his muscles tightened as he was paralyzed with a fear much like the kind in his dream, when he was falling, falling into the ocean. “I… I… didn’t want to hurt you… do… do you hate me?” he couldn’t face her anymore as he dropped his hands and turned his head away.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 7, 2006 22:07:55 GMT -5
Even thru the darkness Apri could see the color drain from the shadowed face before her as he opened hi hand quickly. Hearing his words and feeling his hands slowly slide from hers to his lap, Apri swallowed hard regretting she had brought it up. Taking a moment to rid herself of the knot that had formed in her throat, she turned her eyes to that face looking away from her.
"O-of course not, Killian..." she said softly. Finding him facing away, however, she couldn't go on. She wanted to talk to the man, not at him. With a gentle hand, she reached to the opposite cheek, pausing for barely a breath before resting gently on it and turning his face back to her.
"I could never hate a man who tries so hard to protect me that... that he gives up everything he wants so much..." she finished softly, but firmly, not sure where she was going to go with this, but she knew her heart was screaming for these words to be said.
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Post by shawncameron on May 7, 2006 22:39:57 GMT -5
She was just saying that… Apricus was so kind. But then he felt it, something hovering over his skin before it contacted. He let her move his face, stunned, her voice barely penetrating his befuddled mind. She was touching him… her hands where so soft, even the slight calluses from playing the guitar where a pleasure to his sensitive skin. Slowly his hand reached up and also hovering for a moment finally rested on hers as he snuggled into it slightly, taking in the smell as well as the feel and closing his eyes though it was unnecessary.
He sighed and opened his eyes slowly, managing to look right at her some how, “I would give up everything to make you happy Apricus… because that is what I want most. More then seeing you… and more then touching you… I want you to smile, to laugh.” and to love me.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 7, 2006 23:10:35 GMT -5
Not only did Apri see his reaction to her touch, but felt it beneath her gentle hands as well. Watching, Apri's lips parted in disbelief; disbelief that one could enjoy her touch so much. Unable to take her eyes off him, her hand lost all tension there may have ever been just before his eyes opened again, not to look over her shoulder, or even above her head, but directly into her own. Her heart stopped beating as she heard his words.
Lifting her hand from his cheek, she flipped it to catch his before he could pull it away. Picking up the other from his lap gingerly, she raised them both slowly to her face, where she carefully and slowly placed his fingertips upon her cheeks. Closing her own eyes, she let out a slow breath to calm her racing heart. There was no flinch at the contact, no true hesitation or tenseness, simply the fact that her heart would not still.
"Killian... I want... I want you to see me..." she said softly, her lips moving the skin beneath his fingers as they lay up on her cheeks. Licking them as she searched for her voice she continued, "At least once... I want you to... to know what I look like... so that when you hear that smile in my voice... you might be able to see it as well... because with you... I smile often..."
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Post by shawncameron on May 7, 2006 23:59:09 GMT -5
Killian’s heart skipped a beat as her hand slipped away from his, but it came slamming back in as she grasped not only that one but the other one was well. His heart beet quickened, pounding into his chest and ears, it was so loud she must hear it… but it stopped again a moment later as his fingers touched what could only be her face and her words reached his ears. Swallowing hard to get past the lump in his throat and chest Killian opened his mouth to say something but couldn’t find any words so he closed it again, just nodding instead.
He breathed slowly, once, then twice, clearing his mind of all thoughts so he could draw the picture of her with out distraction. This was no easy feet considering what she had just said and what he was no feeling, but turns of practice let him do it as he closed his eyes unnecessarily again and moved his fingers slowly up to find her eyes.
His finger tips brushed her skin, just barley touching, leaving the elution that it was all in the imagination as he started with her eyes, feeling the shape of them and the distance from her eyebrows as he ran his fingers over them, then moved up to her hair line, circling the entire face before working his way back in to the lips and the cheeks. It was a touch so intiment not even someone such as Apricus’s mother had felt anything like it, as he brushed her first with his finger tips and then with his entire hand, resting his palms on her cheeks and reaching his fingers to her ears and then tracing the line down the sides of her neck and then back up the middle to meet her lips again.
He let out a shuttering breath as he rested his thumbs on her eyes one more time before moving them off but keeping his hands cupping her cheeks and jaw. “I was right… it is… you are… indescribably perfect, just like a rainbow… like a full moon in a grassy field… Apricus… don’t hate me, you really are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 10, 2006 22:15:17 GMT -5
In the youngest years of her childhood, Apricus had learned to fear touch. Her mother had never hugged her, but instead hurried her off with rough hands. The men... There touch had brought a new meaning to pain in Apricus' world. But here... These hands... This was a new touch all together.
This touch did not hurt like Apri had feared it would and yet, neither had any other time Killian had touched her. Sure she had flinched away before, but it hadn't been in pain, just simple fear. Now... Now his fingers held a gentle caress to them that she could only find comfort in. Comfort and... something else. Something she found an unknown desire to have. It wasn't like the desire she had found the other night, that child desire to be hugged... This was something completely different... something her older self found wanting.
Finding her face finally cupped in his hands, she brought of one her owns to rest over his on the right side of her face as she leaned into his soft touch and listened to his words and shattered breath. For the first time, Apri found herself compared, not to her mother or any other woman, but to the things she truly loved and appreciated. She was compared to one of the true beauties of the earth, not the fake beauty of a woman. There was nothing she could do to stop the single tear from rolling down her cheek to moisten those tender hands.
"Killian, have I not already told you?" she asked. Just as Killian's usually smooth and soothing voice was broken and shuttering, Apri's own hesitant voice was low, but full as she spoke, raising her left hand, not to his other hand, but to his own cheek.
"There is nothing you have ever done, nor will there ever be, that I could not forgive you for." Killian... I think I love you...
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Post by shawncameron on May 10, 2006 23:55:01 GMT -5
Now that he had done it… now that he could see her lovely face glowing in the darkness of his mind he did not want to let her go. He smiled a shaking but true smile as she spoke cupping his hand and then his own face. He moved his right thumb to wipe away the tear that had brushed his fingertips. She was crying but… she was happy, that was a tear… a tear of joy. Of all the times Killian had made a woman cry, his mother and others, it had never been in happiness.
He rubbed her cheek with his right hand his left moving up to touch her hair, to run his fingers through it. “Oh Apricus I… I don’t know what to say,” it was all to perfect, to wonderful to believe, but it was true, all of it had come true. “I…” Love you… but he couldn’t say it out loud, couldn’t risk putting such a feeling into words.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on May 14, 2006 16:41:37 GMT -5
"Then don?t say anything, Killian." she said, her voice soft. As far as she was concerned, he had said all there had been need for while he was dreaming. Remembering his words, and the ones she had just though, she wondered if it might be true. Was this really love she felt? That thing that so many songs she sang spoke of?
Her own hand tilted so that her long fingers rested along his jaw. Looking at him there in the dark, she found herself feeling so many different emotions. The simple contact of her hand on his skin and his upon hers was sending a tingling sensation thru her sensitive skin. So unuse to human contact, she could feel everything with amazing accuracy. Those simple nerve messages along with her thoughts about his words... she was very confused and at the same time, she felt as if this was where she was suppose to be.
After a short silence, Apri found her face growing slowly warm, but she did not move to take his hands off her nor did she move hers. This warm skin beneath her fingers had a pleasant feel to it. Finally taking in more than his face, she found those little white scars that she had seen so clearly the other night in the light. Ever so gently and careful not to break contact, she slid her fingers down his neck to where they began. Stopping just before she brushed a finger across one even though her fingers itched to know, she turned her eyes back up to Killian.
"Are... are all of these from... from when you lost your sight?" she asked gingerly, not knowing if she was in place to ask such a thing, but the silence had grown a little too quiet and her curiosity seemed a good way to crawl out of the tangled web of emotions she was caught in.
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