Overheard Conversation…

[E]

“To keep the child out of the way… she was put behind a curtain on a stool… told not to make a sound… But the child couldn’t help it… she was scared… so scared… she cryed often and often her mother beat her for her tears… but even that fear could not keep the tears away as still more men came…”

“Soon… there came men who… who took intrest in the child… in me, Killian… Mother wouldn’t allow it… at first… then they offered money… The mother no longer had to beat her child… she learned to stay silent to keep the men from even knowing she was there…”

“Every touch I’ve ever known… Has struck such fear into my heart… has hurt so much… Everyone… but yours…” Stopping, she swallowed again, her throat having gone dry. “No Killian… You are not like other men… but that does not chase the fear away…” Stopping, brought both hands to her face to catch the tears. She was afraid… afraid of what she had heard that night… afraid of what she had said… and afraid of what the man behind her would think…

[shawncameron]

Killian didn’t say anything for a long time, or what felt like a long time. His hands had relaxed and his head was leaning on the tree again, he wasn’t sure what to say, he wasn’t thinking about himself anymore. “That… Bitch.” It was a whisper and the fist time he had cursed. He had not meant to say it out loud, what would Apricus think? But he kept talking as though to himself, “Discussing, dirty, bitch… how dare she touch you… you who are so innocent, so perfect.” His hands where clenched again the nails bighting so deep he started to bleed again.

“No wonder… no wonder I scared you so much… no wonder I hurt you…” his hands came back up to his face, the blood was warm on his skin as he tried to push the visions out of his mind but when all you saw was black the visions came more and more clearly. “But… never ever again… you are far away from that… and I will not let it happen… no one will touch you like that… No One.” Not even me… he wasn’t sure what hurt more, finally knowing or having gone so long without knowing… how many things had he said that had reminded her of that?

[E]

The hate, the anger in Killian’s voice was easy to hear even though it came as a whisper from his voice. Unable to still the shaking, to slow the tears Apri was helpless to answer him as he continued. Half listening, half not waning to listen, she only shook more at his words.

Just as he had cried during that sunset, letting out all of his pent-up tears, Apri was helpless to her own onslaught. She was devastated that she had actually told someone, relieved that she no longer carried it on her own and angry that she had chosen Killian to finally tell it to. She had put so much value on Killian that telling him her past only seemed to make her feel horribly guilty. She shouldn’t have. She should have just kept running…

[shawncameron]

His fist closed again as he tried to control the anger. His hands, no his whole body shook as he tried to control it. He thought about everything she had said again trying to look past how much he wanted to KILL that thing that called herself Apricus’s mother, looking deeper and seeing the hurt child, the one that had finally come out to him had confided in him and he was doing what? Getting angry like that… woman… would have done.

He began to calm, the shaking lessened as he dropped his hands away from his face, he moved just a little, rolling slightly to the side so he was facing her sitting next to the tree still slightly behind her. “Apricus…” it was quiet, gentle, “thank you…” he rested one hand on the tree for its satiability as he couldn’t reach for her. “It must have been so hard to tell someone… but thank you… for trusting me with this… I know I’m not worthy or it after everything I have done… everything I have said to you in my ignorance… so thank you.” He faced down at the ground letting his hair fall in front of his face as a single tear rolled unnoticed down his cheek. “You are so strong… to hold this for so long…” if only I could have some of that strength. “but… if you would let me… I would like to hold it for you… so you don’t have to hurt alone anymore…”

[E]

At the sound of his voice, gentle and soothing once again, she dropped one hand as the other began to wipe the tears away. Listening to him as he spoke, a small hiccup escaped her lips as she stared in wonder at him. Not worthy? He was the only person who she had ever trusted. Strong? She had cried every night as a child. Hold it for her? To ask that of him when he already held so many pains of his own?

“…but…” Hiccup. “… Killian… You already hurt enough…” Hiccup.

[shawncameron]

Killian was shaking his head his eyes closed and a small smile on his face before he looked back up to her. He couldn’t tell if she was looking at him but if she was he wanted her to know that everything was going to be ok. “Not anymore Apriucs, you have given me countless chances to drop my burdens, and it has lightened my loud considerably, I can’t say I have dropped everything but what I have was because of you, now its my turn… please, let me help you.”

The hand not on the tree moved forward slowly lightly brushing the ground until he found the cloth he had dropped earlier. Lifting it up he held it out to her again. “Trust me… just one more time… and it’s ok to cry… you can cry with me, just don’t cry… because of me.”

[E]

Hearing his plea to let him help her, she nearly choked on the tears that wanted to well up again. Seeing movement below him, her eyes shot down to watch the outline of his hand snake thru the grass to the cloth he had offered earlier. Watching him lift it slowly, her vision blurred slightly as her gaze shifted back to his face.

As his soft, tender words reached her ears, Apri found a longing that had been buried long ago. A child without a family, she had often watched children run to their parents arms looking for comfort… looking for love. How she had wished to be held like that as a child. But when the men came… she had given up on that dream… Nothing good came of touch… Except a blind man and his endless patience.

Moving slowly, hesitation fighting to stop her body, every part of her screamed out against that child inside her. Everything told her no, this was wrong. She need to turn. She needed to run. She needed to hide. But instead, that child inside her crawled, one slow step at a time… until she was mere inches in front of those grey eyes.

Carefully and painstakingly slow, she sat next to him. Knees bent and her feet cautiously placed to keep the bloody skin from the ground, she wrapped her arms against her chest as she leaned against his. Slowly, her weight leaned against him as the tears came again; the child wanting nothing more than to know that feeling of love in a simple hug.

[shawncameron]

She was moving, he could feel it but what was she doing? He thought he could tell but he must be wrong there was no way… until it happened. He felt her lean against him and he wanted to burst, to cry, to comfort. He thought of all of the times Corana had fallen when she was younger how she would lean on him and he would hold her.

This wasn’t the Apricus he knew but the child Apricus he had just met. Slowly he lifted his arms and wrapped them lightly around her, ready to let go at the first sign of her jerking away. “shhhh… its ok…. I’m here for you…” he found himself repeating those words he had said to first Larina when she would lean on him and later Corana. But she was neither of those girls this was Apricus and he had never loved her so much as he did now.

[E]

Feeling the weight of his arms gently rest around her, the child inside of her found contentment. So this was it… This was what the other children had always had… and she had always wondered about. This was a touch… a touch that did not hurt… but healed.

Apricus did not know how long she leaned against him, encased in his arms. Time, however, quickly faded into the beat of his heart, a beat she could hear thru his chest. That beat soon turned to warmth which radiated from him, and that warmth turned into a steady breath on Apri’s part as she fell asleep against him, the child within her content.

[shawncameron]

He didn’t know how long he sat there, time didn’t mater anymore, he had waited so long and it was worth it. She had said it many times before but now he knew it was true, she trusted him. He relaxed still not holding her any tighter until he felt her fall asleep. He didn’t know how long it had taken or how long she had really been sleeping before he noticed it.

He couldn’t bring himself to waking her up, instead he moved just a little and very slowly, keeping one arm on her back and moving the other behind her knees, careful to stay away from anywhere else as he lifted her from the ground. The first thing he noticed was how light she was, how truly fragile. With one more silent heave he stood all the way, ignoring his stick and turning he walked slowly down the path and back to the hall.

His mind was swimming as he moved with steady steps until he reached the front stairs. He took his time on those until a small sound hit his ears, a gasp and then running feet. His arms tensed just a little as he prepared to move should some one reach out for the woman in his arms.

“Oh Killian is she ok…?” it was Krina, but Killian hardly relaxed was Certain with her? “She is sleeping…” his brothers wife had stopped feet away the concern on her face going unnoticed by the blind man. She hadn’t expected the brush of coldness in his voice. “Her feet they’re bleeding…” that made Killian open up his voice was fear full as he still held her, “how bad is it? Is she going to be ok?”

Krina came a little closer bending to look at her feet with out touching them, “its ok Killian lets just get her to her room.” She didn’t ask anything about how Apricus had come to being cared by Killian or why she was bleeding as she led the way up to the Harpers room. She held the door open which Killian entered quickly and without so much as a nod, taking Aprcus strait to her bed and laying her down gently.

As he did Krina took a closer look at the womans feet, “its ok Killian they aren’t bad… she will need to stay off of them for the next few days but, I think it would be best to let them breath.” She went off to the bathroom quickly filling a small bowl with hot water before coming back. She moved back to the foot of the bed but Killian reached out a hand to stop her, “don’t… don’t touch her.” She blinked at him completely confused, “they do need to be cleaned.”

[E]

A soft sigh escaped Apri as she was placed gently on her bed. The move from outside to her room had gone completely unnoticed as she slept, for once a dreamless sleep. The voice of the woman held no effect on her as it was softly spoken, and the frail woman remained in her peaceful world as Killian reached out a hand to stop the woman.

[shawncameron]

The hand he had held out to stop her balled into a fist as his head tilted down to hide his face as he thought. Again he was cornered… but she needed to be helped. “Be…” he stopped at the harshness in his voice clearing his throat and starting over, it was not her fault after all, “be careful please… she doesn’t like people to touch her…”

Krina sighted smiling an unseen look of sympathy, “I will Killian, trust me.” That brought his head up just a bit as he stayed kneeling by Apricus’s side, she had trusted him… Krina went to work slowly and as gently as her word using only the clean wash cloth to touch the sleeping woman, brushing the dirt off and away from the wounds before letting the bleeding slow on its own.

“Are you done?” Krina sighted again standing and going back to the washroom to dump out the now red water, she didn’t answer him until she got back. Certain had told her what had been said and she was not happy with him but neither was she Happy with Killian. “Yes I’m done… and so are you, you need to get to sleep too.” Killian was taken slightly aback by her tone but he didn’t move, “I’m not tired…”

The healer woman huffed putting her hands on her hips and glaring at the man. Even if he could see her it wouldn’t have made indifference and she sighed again heading for the door. She stopped as she opened it though not turning around, “Certain… he really is a good man…” but Killian did not answer and she left.

Killian did not know when he rested his head on the side of Apricus’s bed… did not know when his mind drifted from the blackness of his vision to the pictures of his dreams. It had been so long since he had dreamed in color but he did tonight. He dreamt of a faceless woman crying red tears before she turned into a girl like Corana running to him as he held her, then she changed back into a woman, resting her head on his shoulder sighing, content and happy… but it was only a dream….

[E]

A soft breeze made Apri shiver as she curled into a tighter ball. Relaxing her body again, she sighed content. Lying there in the morning sun, she attempted to will herself back into sleep. It did not come, however. Instead, memories of the night before slowly filtered into her head.

At first it didn’t make sense, the fragments of memory. Who were those voices… what were they saying… Then it hit her, all at once and she sat straight up in the bed suddenly very awake.

Breathing heavy, she tried to remember what had happened after she had run. She had fell next to a tree… Killian… she had told Killian…

Turning slowly, she searched the room only to find the man resting his head softly on the side of her bed. Seeing him there seemed to help her racing heart as her breath finally slowed. She did not know how he had gotten her here, but she was sure he had not touched her, not in a way that would have harmed her.

Carefully, she slid to the foot of her bed where she put her feet gingerly on the floor. There was a slight sting, but she thought she could manage it… until she put the rest of her weight on them. With a soft yelp, she quickly sat back down. Well there went that idea…

[shawncameron]

The sun was warm on Killians back as he slept, lost in dreams and images. He was a heavy sleeper, and even once awake he was never truly awake until he washed his face and downed a cup of two of klah. Now it seemed worse then ever as the nights physical and emotional exertion was convincing him he would rather just sleep a little longer…

Below him the bed was moving just a little… still in his deep sleep Killian shifted his legs a little and at a small sound that peered though his dreams he moaned. He did not wake however instead he reached just a little out grabbing more blankets and pulling them to him to make more of a pillow for his head. But they wouldn’t come… scowling just a bit he pulled harder yanking the blankets out from what ever was holding them down, and with a contented, child like, sight he bunched them up and rested his head back on them, breathing lightly as he slept on…

[E]

Hearing a soft moan, she turned to look at Killian. A puzzled look came on her face as his hands started to move toward her. Quickly moving to the very edge of the bed, she was even more surprised to feel a slight tug on the blankets. Tilting her head to the side, she was not prepared for the strong tug that followed.

This time the yelp was not at all quiet, nor was the thud that followed as Apri fell to the floor. Wincing, she lifted a hand to brush the hair out of her face. “Ouch…” well that wasn’t very nice… she thought, though the thought that he had done it in his sleep made her smile.