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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:28:53 GMT -5
Killian followed his brother having a good idea what this was going to be about, into an empty classroom of the Ista Harper Hall. He said noting however keeping his face blissfully ignorant though inside he was growing quite tired of these little conversations. It was one thing for Xicon to be worried about him but quite another to get Certain involved and to question his ability to handle his own emotions.
“Killian… I know Xicon has said this before but…” Certain started but apparently Killian’s own patients could only stretch so far after all. “Then don’t say it again brother. My sight is gone not my memory, I have listened to all of your warnings before and have not forgotten them.” He kept a straight face, wanting this to be over but Certain was not going to give up that easily.
Sighing Certain shook his head. “I have been watching you Killian things are not ok, she is too closed off, you can’t hope to breach that wall I don’t think anyone can…” Killian did not say anything, letting his brother talk and get it out of his system, he had no intention of arguing or giving away anything that he already new about Apricus. But his silence only served to frustrate the older man as his voice rose unnecessarily. “Apricus is only going to hurt you in the end Killian you need to move on, how long have you been trying to get her to open up?”
“I am not trying anything Certain she will open her heart when she is ready.” His voice was calm though it too rose to match Certain’s.
“I’m not talking about her heart Killian.” He was almost shouting now more frustrated with the Harper then he had been in their past talks. “I’m talking about her legs.”
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 0:30:15 GMT -5
Apricus stood, brushing the sand from her long skirt as she rolled up the parchment on which she had been writing again. It had grown dark not too long ago, but her many thoughts had continued to paint pictures of music inside her mind. If she did not hurry to a candle, she was worried she would not be able to jot it all down before she forgot the exact melody once again.
Moving swiftly up the path from the beach to the hall, she paused at the side door to remove her shoes, not wanting to disturb anyone that might still be awake in the quiet hall. Carrying her shoes in one hand and the parchment in the other, she tiptoed thru the dark corridors. As quickly as she wished to return to her room to write, however, she couldn’t help but pause in hesitation at the sudden explosion of voices from a closed door not too far ahead.
”… Killian, things are not okay…” Worry at these words brought Apri level with the door wondering what was wrong. The next words, however, had her frowning. ”…Apricus is going to hurt you… how long have you been trying to get her to open up…” Open up? What were they talking about? Curious, she stepped up until she was facing the door, only a foot or two away.
”…she will open her heart when she is ready…” Heart? ”… I’m talking about her legs…” Legs? Realization at the mentioning of opening legs flashed thru Apri’s mind far to quickly as she paled and stumbled backwards. H-her legs? They wanted to… He wanted Killian to…
Flashes of a dimly lit room struck thru her mind; a woman on the bed, long blonde hair framing a face very similar to Apri’s own and body bare of any clothing… No matter how much Apri attempted to back away from the image, her back met the wall perfectly opposite of the door. Her mind, having panicked, couldn’t register that she simply had to turn in order to run from the voices thru the wooden door.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:31:09 GMT -5
SMACK! The sound rang though the room and out into the hall even through the door. Killian had moved in a flash taking the step forward just as his hand swung back, striking his brother with the back of his open hand making his head turn to face the door.
Killian’s voice was louder though he was not shouting, the fury in it carried even farther and deeper then yelling ever could. “Your sick, do you think that is all that matters?” his mask had dropped again, though not to reveal a truly happy face as it did with Apricus but a disgust beyond words for the man in front of him. He did start shouting a bit as his anger grew every time his mind repeated his brother’s words. “That is nothing! Nothing when you truly care about someone, when your hole being aces to be close to their heart their body means Nothing!”
Certain, who was still facing the door in a stunned silence from the smack slowly recovered and matched Killian’s anger with his own increased frustration at what he considered his brothers ignorance. “Did you loose your manhood with your sight! There is no way any man could say what you just did and mean it!”
Killian’s head came down as his eye twitched behind his sheet of gray hair; it took all of his self-control not to hit the man again. “No one can control those kinds of desires for long Killian.” But the Harper had an answer for that too, managing somehow to rain in his temper though he was still louder then normal for him. “So if Krina, your wife, was suddenly unable to…. Satisfy you…” the word came out like a dirty word that made him want to wash out his mouth, “then you would no longer love her?”
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 0:31:28 GMT -5
The loud smack that so closely followed the words made Apri jump in surprise as the familiar voice, deep and angry, shook her to attention as she listened to what was happening behind the door once again. ”…when your whole body aches to be close to their heart, their body means nothing…” That was what he had said. Killian really didn’t care what she looked like… He… He just wanted to… To be close to her… To know her… That in itself was another shock to Apri and it took his brothers shout to shake her from it again.
Desires. That brought back the picture of her mother, one man after another. Every night… Growing up behind that cloth in that room… night after night… Apri knew far to well what desires the man with Killian spoke of. Was it truly impossible for a man to not have such desires? As of late she had begun to wonder… to even hope that perhaps… perhaps there was one man… Now, however, her hopes were shaken from her grasp again. If that wall were not at her back she’d have left once again, not sure if she wanted to hear more…
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:32:07 GMT -5
That made his brother stop but only for a moment. “That is different Killian, we have been married for five turns now… I was your age once Killian those kinds of things just can’t be turned off…” But Killian moved again, grabbing Certain by the front of his shirt and bringing his face to within an inch of his own. It took everything he had to keep from screaming, though he continued to yell. “It is because I can turn those pathetic physical desires off that makes me more of a man then you will ever be!” he dropped him turning on his heal and heading for the door. He put his hand on the handle but did not turn it just yet. “If I ever hear you speak this way of Milady Apricus again… you will regret it.” With those last words he jerked the door open.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 0:32:47 GMT -5
So confused by these next words, Apricus hadn’t realized that Killian had been moving for the door. As it was yanked open, the light spilt out blinding her momentarily as she threw up an arm to block what she could. A wince of pain momentarily hid the look of plain fear and terror on her face, but as soon as she could see the man before her and the one within the room, she finally found her sense of direction.
Turning, she didn’t pay attention to which way she ran, she simply dropped her scroll and shoes and left. She didn’t want to see that man who had spoken to Killian so and all that came to her mind was to get away. Finding herself at a door that lead outside she threw it open and went thru it, ignoring the sharp pain on her bare feet as she ran across the loose stone path, unaware if anyone followed.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:33:18 GMT -5
If Killian could have seen that look, that terror in Apricus his knees would have buckled, but as it was he could not. But he did know someone was there. His senses heightened by his anger a faint familiar smell reached out to him just as the thunk of something hitting the ground reached his ears. “Apricus?” it was soft almost a whisper, how much had she heard?
He heard running feet, bare feet slapping on the stone floor before the door was swung open. “Killian…” Certain reached out for him almost placing his hand on his brothers shoulder before Killian turned his head back to him, his glare managing somehow to find his eyes though they stared right though him seeing nothing and yet to Certain he saw everything. The feeling made him fall back in silence as Killian moved after the fleeting woman.
What had she heard? What he had said? Or only what that… man had said? Killian moved as quickly as he could, listening for the sound of the feet head of him as he tried not to run outright, she had to stop soon and when she did he slowed, stopping a good distance away from her. “Apricus…” he didn’t know what else to say, had he just ruined everything again?
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 0:33:43 GMT -5
Apricus had stopped, short of breath, and moved off the trail. The cool grass felt good against her burning feet as she limped into the trees a little ways to collapse next to the trunk of one. Leaning back against it, she closed her eyes and just tried to concentrate on breathing. Oh how her feet burned! Reaching out to them, she winced as her fingers found the bottom of them wet and sticky.
Just as she pulled her hand away, a soft voice made her jump. Leaning to peek around the tree, her heaving chest had been stilled completely as she tried to discern who it was thru the shadows. It was the familiarity of the voice, however, that allowed her to know who it had been. Turning back to face away from him, she leaned back against the tree again, carefully tucking her legs to one side so that the pads were not face down to get dirty as they bleed.
A long silence strung out before Apri found her voice again. Not sure at all what was going to be said, she did not want to simply leave him there in the dark wondering where she was. At the same time, however, she didn’t have a clue where his brother was, and he was the last person she was prepared to see face to face.
“A-are… are you alone?” she asked quietly. While she herself wouldn’t have been able to hear it at that distance, she knew Killian would. If he could see the world thru sounds, then he would be able to find that soft spoken question.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:34:22 GMT -5
Killian could hear her all to clearly, finding more in her tone and her words then he would have liked too, so she had heard some of it… “Yes, it’s just me…” he stepped forward his hand finding the tree, she was on the other side of it, clenching his fist Killian rested his back on it sliding down to sit much like she was on the opposite side then her. He wanted to say so much and yet could not find the words for any of it. He sat quietly for a moment before he realized the new sent in the air… blood.
He didn’t say anything just pulled at his robe, an old un embroidered one, and finding the end of one sleeve ripped one strip of fabric off before holding it out to Apricus, “your bleeding…” he did not move closer to her, did not raise his voice, she was scared… but he didn’t know what to do… “Please… Apricus… its not bad is it… the bleeding…” he couldn’t see it, couldn’t help her.
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E
Raging Demoness
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 0:34:35 GMT -5
Hearing Killian move up to the tree and sit on the other side, Apri closed her eyes as one hand wrapped around her small stomach and the other went to hold her ankle as she was sure it would hurt to hold her feet. A rustle of cloth had Apri sitting straight up, strong shivers of fear running down her spine before she seen the strip of cloth held out around the tree. Staring at it a moment, she simply leaned back again and closed her eyes as she attempted to slow her pounding heart. Even as she heard his words, she had other things on her mind.
“Killian… Why…” pausing to sort out her thoughts, she swallowed her dry throat before attempting again to voice her thoughts. So many questions flooded her mind… She didn’t know where to start. “Those… desires… do you… have you… ever felt them?” Her voice, even with as often as she paused, was strangely calm once the shivers from hearing him undress stopped.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:35:59 GMT -5
Desires… Killian dropped the cloth next to her leaning fully on the tree again, his head resting on the rough bark as he faced up. He wanted to say no, to deny ever feeling the things that maid men such horrible things too her, but he couldn’t lie to Apricus… “Yes… Once, turns ago… it must have been five turns ago… My room mate…” he was just like the men that Apricus had known… had feared, “he is always bringing in girls, he thinks because I can’t see it, that its ok… but… its disgusting, I was disgusted with myself for wanting it, and I turned them, those feelings, off.”
He closed his eyes, remembering those times and again hating himself for it. Was Certain right? Could he really not turn them all the way off? Had his heart not jumped at the slightest brush of Apricus’s skin? He brought his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms around them and pressing his eyes to them, “Am I… am I as bad as them?”
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 0:44:38 GMT -5
Apri couldn’t stop the shaking as it started again at his answer. So it happened to all men at one point in time… even to Killian, the only man she had thought she could trust. The following words, however made her stop to think even though the shivers continued. Had he not liked it? Did she hear him correctly? Maybe… Maybe that was why she had thought she could trust him…
Hearing his question after a moment of silence, she bit her lip knowing very well that Killian strived to look so different in her eyes. “Killian… I… I want to tell you something…” she said softly, not sure whether or not she still seen him as different. Her heart yearned to forget what she had heard… and yet… he had to know… perhaps it was not him who was suppose to be judged this night, but her instead.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 0:49:52 GMT -5
Killian’s head popped up almost making his neck snap, but his voice was still quite as he thought of what exactly she had said. It had happen she was going to tell him never to see her again… he really was as discussing as all of the others. “Yes?” what else could he say? He wanted to scream to cry to hit something… Certain…. He wanted to hit Certain so so badly… but it wasn’t his fault, it was Killians… his fault for being so weak, so… sick.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 19, 2006 1:03:40 GMT -5
Apri missed the fear in his voice as he spoke that single word, telling her to continue, as so many memories flashed thru her mind as well as the words she had heard spoken behind that door. Clenching her fists, she swallowed hard as she closed her eyes.
“Please… do not interrupt… I am scared I might not finish…” she said, pausing to swallow again. “Quintak… my mother… If you haven’t guessed, she was not like other mothers. She did not have a craft… not a legitimate one… There was no Hall for the work she did… but it paid well and money was what she truly loved…”
“Men are monsters… No matter how trusting their wife… no matter how many children at home… they came to my mother… Every night a new man came to our home for that season… Money was exchanged for… for pleasures that my mother knew how to give… As you can imagine, a child only got in the way of such work…”
Apri paused a moment, not wanting to go on, and yet speaking of it… was easy… the more she spoke, the more it felt as if a weight was being lifted… a heavy weight she had carried alone all her life.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 19, 2006 1:09:27 GMT -5
Killian would not interrupt but as she started talking he understood why she would warn him first. His hands clenched into tight fists as he concentrated on the pain of his nails bighting into his palm and on her words. It explained so much, she only ever knew those kind of men, she had never known a man like, his father, like his uncle or… like him… but was he really better then those she had known?
He listened quietly, as she had listened to him, saying nothing as his mind soaked up everything, unpleasant pictures came into his black world what could that have been for her? He was just imagining it but she had lived it…
But she wasn’t done yet and so he waited…
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