Heartbreak and Comfort (J'mie)

[dragonmenta]

((2 and hald months after Zramuth's flight))

Mariska rubbed her eyes, smudging the tears that flowed down her cheeks. How could this have happened...it was also so fats, and it was the last straw. She was done with him-for good. He had been getting worse ever since Zramuth had been flown by Mezanth and she had been with Sh'rel...and then when she had told him he had exploded. Oh shards!

She staggered through the hall, nearly blinded by salty tears. She pounded on one Weyr door, calling out between sobss, "J'mie! J'mie Flame it, J'mie, open up!" She wondered briefly that it seemed she kept seeing him when she was liek this. She wodnered if he would think her a complete emotional mess. but when she had fled from her Weyr, looking for comfort, it had been he who she had though of.

She felt her knees collapse under her and she slid to the ground, her back to the door. "J'mie," she said weakly now, "J'mie, are you there?

[hrsegrl245]

J'mie had not actually been in his Weyr when the pounding on his door was heard, but rather on his way there. Gavanth told him of course that there was someone at the door, so he had hurried an arm filled with records as he went. After coming down the hall he realized he did not just have any person at his door. At first he wondered why she would be at his door then he saw hoe distraught she was and forgot about himself for a moment.
He knelt down so she would know it was him, "Mariska? Whatever is the matter?" He asked gently. He dropped the records he had been holding wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Come, you can answer that inside." He stood up and opened the door.

His weyr wasn't the best but he had left it in a state of disarray. Oblivious to most of his mess he cleared his table quickly and the chairs. Once it was cleared, he looked to see if Mariska would sit. He didn't what else he could do. He could kill G'rec himself at this point... for he was sure this had something to do with the brownrider. I could always flame him... Gavanth was looking right at J'mie as he said it. The dragon did have a bit of a black sense of humor.

[dragonmenta]

She looked up at the kind face above her. "J'mie she whispered."And stood, up letting him guide her into the weyr in a trance-like state. She just stood still for a minute and the nsat down heavily o nthe dge of his bed. It didn't even cross her mind how she might be intruding on him then. She took a moment to speak..."Well um..' It was a little bit of an uncomftorable story, although it might feel better to tell it to someone. Although looking back she would proably realize maybe J'mie wasn't the right person to spill it out to. He was always great to her, but her problems with G'rec maybe weren't what he wanted to hear...or maybe not.

She rested her hands lightly on her lap. She suddenly felt very cold and shivered a little, "It it started with the flight," She had ben pleased with the winner, Sh'rel was nice enough, although she would have preffered J'mie. "Anyways after that i started you know missing. First month i let it go then the second month and now i missed again and i started getting sick." She shifted a little uncomfortably, "Well anyways, i wasn't sure becuase the timing could have been you know Sh'rel...but it could have been G'rec too. anyways i told him and he got so mad. He got mad becuase of it anyways and when i told him i had doubts he just...he totally lost it."

She felt the tears coming back, "I told him it wasn't that big a deal and that he should go away for a while to calm down. He said i shouldn't speak to him like that. I said i ranked him anyways so what was he goingto do about it...so..." She choked a little," He hit me. Not hard...but he had never hit me before. I told him it was over and he siad that to. wE were in my weyr then...so i just left." She stopped now catching her breath.

"And i don't know i panicked. You are the person i thought of because of how nice you had been to me before. I'm really sorry." She dried her eyes and said more to herself than him, "I will never ever go back to him again." She almost believed it.

She realized that she had just blabbed enough to make anyone squirm, "I'm really sorry J'mie...i...maybe i should just go. I just busted in here and i had no right." She stood up as if to leave, but hoping he would tell her to stay.

[hrsegrl245]

He sat on the chair at the table to give her some space. She needed to tell her own story. So that was that, she was pregnant? Shouldn't that be good news? It didn't matter who's child it was, the babe was going to be a part of the Weyr. Parentage mattered very little here, the Weyr itself should be family. J'mie did not let the anger in his face show. That man dared hit a woman? He really would liike Gavanth to flame him.

He made himself listen passively so as not to disturb her story. She had had a rough night from the sound of it. Of course she had not been a bother in the slightest. J'mie stood as well though he waled the few paces over to where she stood. "Where will you go? Mariska you know you are welcome to stay here as long as you want to." His brown eyes were soft and welcoming, nothing in his speech sounded like a reprimand. He was glad she felt safe here. J'mie placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to only be a friend to her at this moment.

"I think you should not worry about who the father is. Why should it matter? You are the one carrying it, you will deliver it adn you will be taking care of it till it goes to the Creche and becomes fostered. There is no man involved in any of that." J'mie added, of course it was different when you had a weyrmate, but Mariska was now on her own.

[dragonmenta]

Mariska sighed in relief as he stopped her from going. She really didn't have anywhere to go. Zramuth had been querrying her with worry constantly, but she had even blocked out her own dragon. She was just too overwhelmed. She liked the way J'mie listened and sat so still but you still knew he was really hearing you. He was comforting, she guessed. "Thankyou, J'mie thankyou." She sat back down on the bed.

She tired to smile, "Your right. What should it matter. Its not like G'rec would do anything passed what he already did anyways. Nope, i'm better off alone anytways...i can do this alone." But she didn't really sound convincing at all. She needed someone who she could count on, someone who was her friend as well as mate.

She had an idea, a rash and lonely idea, the kind that one makes when one is all broken up and lost, but it not the worst one she could have made. "J'mie...i know you are here for me, your a greast friend...and..." She rolled her eyes,. not really sure how to say it. "What i mean is...well...you are...and i think i...always...Oh shards." She gave up trying to say what she was thinking. She stood, and walked across to where he was and kissed him.She was confused, she wasn't even sure what she was doing, but she wasn't the kind of person that dealt well with being alone. She always needed someone. Fortuantely, or unfortuantly, J'mie was right there.

[hrsegrl245]

J'mie watched the emotions on her face changing rapidly."Of course, you can do anything you set your mind to." She seemed confused and lost. He had felt bereavement before but people always handled being alone differently. His way was probably the worst and the hardest. Mariska was nothing like him. He was listening to what she said and what she was having trouble saying...Then she kissed him.

J'mie felt as though a shock had just gone through him. His body reacted to her kiss, kissing her back most ardently. He wasn't sure what to do but he figured Mariska didn't know either. His arms enveloped her body comfortingly. J'mie knew how he felt about her and had been feeling but he wasn't sure he could express those feelings very well. In fact he was certain she had no idea how much he felt for her.
Gavanth was watching the humans most happily without a moment to spare he contacted Zramuth about her rider.
Zramuth, yours is at mine's weyr. You may come over too if you wish it. I must say humans are rather interesting to watch.

[dragonmenta]

Mariska was suprised. She had assumed he might pull back, but he didn't. Maybe he had a little crush too. She broke away after a minute. "Um...that was nice, really nice." She said, and meant it. She was almost a little embarrassed now. She decided to kiss him again, shorter this time.

"So" She looked up to him, she was tryingto sort out her feelings. It was hard not be attracted to J'mie a little. He was handsome, smart, a bronzer, a Wingleader and much more. But\, she hadn't really known she'd liked him liek that at all until she'd kissed him. Now she felt funny. Good funny, like when your just getting tipsy and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"I think we should do that again," She said, "But later." She winked at him with a bit of her old humor coming back. "Tell me, J'mie. Do you like me? Do you like me like that?" She asked, in the very forward way she sometimes did.


Zramuth perked up as she heard Gavant hbespeakign her. She hadchosen Mezanth last time, but Gavanth was certainly not out of the runnign for future flights. He was a good bronze indeed. She had been quite worried about her rider, but now that she was with Gavanth's she seemed a bit better. That pleased the Queen. I would like that. She lifted out of her wallow and flew over to the edge of Gavanth's, knowing thta if she tried to get all the way in, not even a Bronzes weyr would totally fit her. But she was comftorable anyways, wit hehr wings folded up and her tail dropping over the edge. And i must agree with you. Humans are quite confounding, funny little things.

[hrsegrl245]

After the kiss he too was a bit shaken up with emotions. J'mie did agree that the kiss was nice, acrually better than nice it was great but he didn't want to seem overzealous on that point. He smiled warmly at her when she had kissed him again not wanting to encourage kissing when they needed to talk. He had to agree that they could do that again any time. He was letting her speak for now since she seemed to be building up till she asked what it was he knew she would ask.

"No." He answeered quickly. " I love you like that." His eyes did not dare meet hers. Mariska was a st4rong woman and he had never even thought of her wanting something from him that was more the friendship. He knew how to keep himself from doing rash things and he really ought to have pulled away fromt hat kiss but he was weak there. He really ought to ask how she felt but how would he pose the question certainly not exactly the same as she.

"Mariska, I know you have just come out of a long term relationship, so I don't expect you to feel the same way or anywhere near as strongly as I do. If you don't want this, all you ahve to do is say so." He was looking at her now, though his eyes didn't show what he was thinking.

Gavanth was pleased at the company. My Queen I'm glad you have come. He expressed his words sweetly. THough his rider was trying to botch everything up. The man really needed to say, I love you but he was dodging the word as much as possible. They really ought to leave relationships up to dragons, we generally know better.He added very amused at his rider's antics. Thats when his little kitten came down from his couch. Stupid kitten. How can she be so unafraid of dragons....If I were in the mood I could change that, Gavanth thought slyly to himself.

[dragonmenta]

Mariska looked down but smiled when he had said he loved her, she was honest. "I don't love you..or not yet, anyways. But i might, you've been great to me and there is something. I'll have to find out what, but something. And i do want to find out what."

She sighed. This was a rather stressful day. "I do want to do this. I do." She grinned, "Well at least i can know definitively that this is not yours." She joked lightly, but was then serious, "You don't mind that, do you?" She asked. Knowing him, he probably wouldn't but it was good to ask.

Zramuth snorted her agreement, aye, as if i wouldn't chose well in flight. Mariska should be pleased with whoever's Bronze is good enough to fly me. She didn't mention who those Bronzes and Brozneriders were that made the short list...but she did have one. The obvious ones, Mezanth, Malekith, Phelanth (although he was off lmits of course), Mazbeth, Kaluth and Gavanth, among a couple others. She was a little picky when it came to choosing a mate and she certainly hadn't settled on one forever yet. Her clutche by Mezanth had been fine...but there might be a Bronze out there who could fly her better.

Zramuth nearly fell off the ledge as she saw the little kitten. By fall,what is that! She regained her wits and rememberd, saying a little sheepishly, Oh yes, mine had one for a short time...gave it away to another girl though. the feline just um...caught me by surpise. She told Gavanth, trying to cover up her embarrassment. So do you like the feline? She asked, she couldn't imagien a dragon liking a little pet.

[hrsegrl245]

J'mie listened and heard what he thought he would hear but she had suprised him. She did want to get to know him better and he would try to open up more around her. He had tried so hard to close himself off. Mariska was making light her present situation. She seemed nervous to him, about being pregnant at all.

J'mie would not care who the baby's father was. Though he hoped that it did not affect the child, not really knowing. He placed a hand on her abdomen, "A child should be a joyous thing. Not something to be angry or upset about. They are special. Celinde had trouble, getting pregnant." He added, though he did not say it with much sadness. Celinde had not died from childbirth as some construed in their stories of his odd melancholy. The woman had just told him the day she died that they were pregnant again. He remembered the immense joy and then the horrific grief in a matter of candlemarks ones world could turn upside down.

"The child is yours so its sure to be stunningly beautiful or handsome." He inked at her and laughed. He would not bore her with words at this point.

You will always have the best. He answereed, not trying to seem like he was one of the best, but knowing full well he was or he wouldn't be wingleader. Gavanth worried about Zramuth as she almost fell off the ledge. You are alright?His eyes whirling with concern for her. She was going to clutch soon after all. He couldn't let her get injured at his weyr. He would feel responsible for anythign that went wrong with the clutch.
Oh its not about what I like. I never liked felines eventhough J'mie has had one for a while. This little gold one seems to think she has all the rights of a Gold dragon. Coming onto my couch when she pleases and only staying on my part of the weyr.

[dragonmenta]

Mariska smiled gratefully at his comforting words, letting her smile say everything that needed to be said. She frowned as he mentioned his dead Weyrmate, she must be what usually seemed to weight so heavily on his mind. "She must have meant alot to you." But she lightened up again at his compliment, "Aye?" Her eyes twinkled lightly.

Zramuth laughed draconically. I'm fine. Don't get so worried." She settled back comftorably. She consider's herself a Queen Bronze then. I guess i'll have to note that you are a taken dragon. She teased, her eyes following the feline with interest.

Mariska grrinned, "Well, if we are decided to give a try, how would you like to split a skin with me over at the night hearth. A first date then." She spoke candidly , her tears dried and her smile showing again.

[hrsegrl245]

"She meant more to me than I even knew then." He gave a half smile knowing it would ruin the night to talk about a dead woman. HE wondered if she was prepared to deal with that. I mean he had a past too it was just different than hers. They both had things that they were dealing with though J'mie would seem to have the easier of the two. Looking at him like that, he couldn't help but kiss her. "Aye." He whispered to her.

A smile graced his face again, "A date." He agreed. J'mie was a hopeless romantic after all. Wasn't that partly why he did not have many women. He had very few in fact. Between Celinde and Mariska there would be none. "What wine should we drink? I consider my own taste in wine, horrible. As will you if you let me choose." Anyone who had been drinking with him before could attest to it. He picked the worst wines.

Gavanth gave the Queen her space. Good.He glanced at the kitten. I don't think she could stop me from flying any Queen I choose.He added, knowing full well the Queen found all this funny. The kitten walked closer to the Gold Dragon, rubbing her head on the dragons hide. I think shes more like a baby. Now he could laugh for the kitten was comfortable with the Gold dragon. That thing was fearless.

[dragonmenta]

Mariska nodded, "Yah, sometimes you don't know what you'velost before its gone," She smiled meekly. She decided however, that she didn't wnat J'mie to always be so mopey and to do something about it, "but hwo about when we're together, you smie la little more, ok? She may be gone. and i'm not saying you should forget her, you shouldn't but lucky you, you have me." She kissed him back happily.

"Well, i have some well aged stuff back in my Weyr. I...um...used to dat one of the apprentices vinters and he snuck me a few skins. I've been wanting to break one open for a while." she stood up. G'rec should be goen from her Weyr my now, probably in the Weyrhall pickign up some cheap lower caverns girl, so she didn't really wnat to go there. "You wouldn't mind coming over ther ewith me?" She asked, her eyes hopeful.

Zramuth cocked her wdge-shaped head at the feline, A rather fuzzy baby don't you think? I've seen human babies and dragon babies and neither of them are so furry. She froze as the feline touched her, but she soon grew tired of the strange little one though, and spotnaneiously lept of the ledge and did a couple loops in the air before landing on the ledge again, wondering if she had suprised the feline. she was curiosu to see how it would react to her little show. Show off. Maybe. Mariska smiled back with J'mie.

[hrsegrl245]

J'mie walked away from Mariska to get the feline bowls from where he kept them. He put some scraps of meat int heir bowls and then cleaned his hands off. The little gold kitten ran quickly to her bowl followed by a much calmer Mirage. He had to keep them on a schedule or they misbehaved.

"To your weyr it is." He held out his arm for her. He wouldn't promise anything on the smiling bit but he would try to be less gloomy. In fact he was already feeling less melancoly. You humans... it takes you forever to know what you want and when you do you try to make it impossible for yourselves.The Bronze said, his tail flicking. To Zramuth he was much nicer, Those are some nice flying manuevers. Our wing is great at manuevering you know. Myself and Kaluth included.

[dragonmenta]

Mariska waited for J'mie to finish with the feliens and then held out a hand to him. "C'mon," She said and began to lead him to her Weyr. Once they were there she, she tidied up a little bit, namely the charcoal and hides she had scattered evreywhere, like most weyrwome ndid. She motioned the Bronzer to a seat. "Here, just give me a sec." She deisappered for a moment and returned wit han aged skin. "Its some good red. Not my best, but we can save thta for another time." Her eyes twinkled mischeviously.

She took out two glass and poured some for both of them. "So J'mie, how have you been lately," She said seriously, smiling widely.


Zramuth began unconciously preening at his compliment. She loved compliments.

I know. She replied, I saw you at your drills. Your wing is comign along quite nicely. aye, i saw you and Kaluth. Good bronzes for a good wing. She said faltteringly. She took her compliments readily but gave them out sparingly. Why should she have to, she was a queen anyways?

((how aobut we just keep the thread here...it'll jus tbe moved to a differnt subforum anyways. ))