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Post by shawncameron on Apr 17, 2006 23:30:53 GMT -5
The next day was a somber one despite the clear sky and the singing birds. Killian had been expecting this day all along but he could not bring himself to sort through his feelings even as he approached the coffins holding both his parents. The lids where already nailed shut as they had died to long ago… to long for Killian to see them again.
I didn’t come home soon enough… he didn’t say anything though. All around him people where whispering behind their hands. Nothing had changed in the end, they still thought him deaf as well as blind as they talked about him.
“He’s gone for how many turns and he thinks he can just come back?”
“It was him that weakened his mother in the first place.”
“They where never the same after he left…”
More words came, whispers about him not crying, about the smile still fixed on his face as he ran his hands over the wood of his parent’s new and permanent beds. He let them role off him like water on a duck as he bent slightly to kiss the wood whispering a few words of farewell to them before standing. He turned to Apricus, he had asked her to hold his guitar for him and even now he was smiling sadly as he reached out for it. Xicon brought him a chair making more words rise; some didn’t even bother to whisper…
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 17, 2006 23:44:08 GMT -5
Apricus couldn’t block out the voices as hard as she tried. It was one thing to ignore what people were saying about herself, but a completely different one when they spoke of Killian. Did they not know that he could hear them? Or did they simply not care? Either way, Apri found herself liking those gathered here less and less as Killian spoke his last goodbyes to his parents.
Watching as Killian finally turned to her, hand outstretched, she sighed and put the guitar in his hand carefully. Taking a step back, she listened, curious as to what he would play for the occasion. She couldn’t help, however, the frustration that was growing inside her as the people continued to talk…
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 17, 2006 23:56:41 GMT -5
Killian smiled reassuringly at her and then at Xicon as the big man rested a hand on his shoulder. He couldn’t see it but some how he knew the man was crying. Nodding to him and then to his family who where all on the other side of the whisperers he sat and strummed the cord before he started to play.
The voices stopped as soon as the music began, not that Killian would have heard them anyway as he put all of his being into this song, written specially for them. From across the way his family sang along, echoing and singing in the back grounds.
All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
We can be like they are
Come on baby... (Don't fear the Reaper)
Baby take my hand... (Don't fear the Reaper)
We'll be able to fly... (Don't fear the Reaper)
Baby I'm your man...
Laaaa la la la la X2
Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity...
(Romeo and Juliet)
40,000 men and women everyday... (Like Romeo and
Juliet)
40,000 men and women everyday... (Redefine
happiness)
Another 40,000 coming everyday...(We can be like
they are)
Come on baby... (Don't fear the Reaper)
Baby take my hand... (Don't fear the Reaper)
We'll be able to fly... (Don't fear the Reaper)
Baby I'm your man...
He went quiet for a moment before the guitar continued quietly then slowly building up into his final heart felt farewell…
Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear we couldn't go on
The door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew and then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared
(Saying don't be afraid)
Come on baby... (And we had no fear)
And we ran to him... (Then they started to fly)
They looked backward and said goodbye
(She had become like they are)
She had taken his hand
(She had become like they are)
Come on baby...(don't fear the reaper)
The music continued on finally starting to die down as though being blown away by the wind.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 18, 2006 0:03:21 GMT -5
Apricus listened silently, hands folded behind her back, as Killian and his family sang the song. It was easy for her to feel the intensity with which Killian himself sang. There was so much feeling in it that she could not keep the tears at bay as two fell silently even though she did not know the man and woman. She felt the pain thru the music.
As the song slowly died, as if it were a wisp of smoke in the wind, Apri looked around to find many tears being shed. She knew they were shed for the two in the coffins, but she also knew that they would not have been so easily shed without Killian’s coaxing thru song…
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 18, 2006 0:09:29 GMT -5
As the song ended Killian stood, his eyes burned, that familiar feeling though his body still would not let him cry as he smiled again and again ran his hand over his mother and father. He waited a moment, it was quiet, the words where gone as small sobs broke some of the silence. He rested the guitar on his mother’s coffin, still smiling. “I’m sorry I could not play for you before… mother… but this is for you.” He took a step back bowed deeply to his departed family and walked away.
He didn’t want to leave Apricus there but Xicon would watch her and he didn’t want her to see the look on his still smiling face as the tears still refused to fall.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 18, 2006 0:18:30 GMT -5
Still standing silently, she was a little surprised to see Killian place his guitar upon the coffin. As he stepped away, her eyes were caught on that glorious instrument left as an offering for the dead. Apri would have never done such a thing, but then again Apri had never had a true mother and so could not have hoped to understand the hurt that Killian must be feeling now.
Turning, she found herself in a crowd of people as they began to stand with no sight of Killian. Frowning, she rolled up to her tip-toes and looked around. Where had he… There he was, leaving down a path thru the trees. It took a lot of effort for her to weave thru the people without brushing against any of them, but she made it out and started for the path.
Just as she reached it, it occurred to her how strange it was for him to leave at such a time when everyone was turning to each other for comfort. But then again, how often had Apri seen Killian turn to someone for comfort? Just as often as she herself did so. Worried, she picked up the pace as she called out ahead. “Killian?”
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 18, 2006 0:35:43 GMT -5
Killian hardly used his stick as he walked though the now overgrown path. He could not hear the voices behind him, only the ones in his memory, of children laughing as they raced up the path and to their destination, his destination. The moment he stepped out of the tree line and on to the rocky cliff his heat stopped beating. Salty air wiped his hair about his face as he took slow steps closer and closer to the edge.
Killian
Killian stopped, he did not turn right away but when he did he did so slowly, “Milady… I’m sorry I shouldn’t have left you…” he smiled at her the mask thicker then ever before he turned back to the sea as the sun slowly reached down to kiss the water. He could not see it but as the wind brought the smells of the ocean it too brought memories and images long buried. “When we mourn… we don’t morn for them, we mourn for ourselves. Mother…” he posed the lump in his throat suddenly making it hard for him to speak,
“Mother didn’t like it when I cried… it would make her cry, she would cry and cry… so I stopped crying, I would hurt myself, bump into things fall down… I would be picked on but I wouldn’t cry… I… I didn’t want Mother to cry…” his eyes burned, he hadn’t cried in so long, only on those times with Apricus had the walls come tumbling down and he was able to let out some his pent up tears… so many tears… but his eyes just buried, as they had burned before when things first began to go blurry then gray, then black.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 18, 2006 10:08:48 GMT -5
Apri paused, biting her lower lip, when she seen Killian turn. Upon his own lips was a smile, and yet she couldn’t help but feel that such a smile could never be considered one at all. Hearing his apology, she shook her head. Opening her mouth, she was about to say that she could leave if he wished his privacy, but stopped when his voice came back again.
Listening to his words, Apri found a stab of pain form in her chest. She wasn’t sure why his mother would cry each time he did, her mother would simply yell more. Hearing how Killian had stopped crying, Apri couldn’t help but wonder at such a thing. It took a strong person indeed to stop tears, and yet she couldn’t help but feel that it was not at all healthy. A person needed to cry every once in a while, this she knew all too well.
“Killian…” she said softly as she stepped up to stand at his side. “Being with you… Singing with you… I’ve noticed something… You live your life behind a mask… I don’t know if your family has noticed… but I have… And right now… You have it on, and if I had a guess… You began wearing it when you stopped allowing yourself to cry… I think… seeing that mask on you is far more painful than seeing the tears… Your mother… I think she would like to take it off… at least for a little while… for her… Even if taking it off means the tears will come like they come to all the rest… I think she would be happy to see them… she would know you are not hiding from her…”
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 18, 2006 19:03:53 GMT -5
But he didn’t do it on purpose… perhaps at first he did but for the most part it just came naturally… since… since then. “it… it didn’t used to make her cry… she used to smile she would give me a hug and tell me everything was going to be ok… but when I fell… fell from here.” He kicked a stone over the edge of the cliff listening for it to hit the water though the sounds of the waves droned out that little sound, “She tried so hard… and I couldn’t even come back to her in time…” a hand came up to hide his face as his eyes continued to burn.
He wasn’t smiling anymore but it seemed even when he couldn’t hold the mask he still had to cover it up… he weakness. “Am I… am I a bad son? They whisper as though I can’t hear… I… I can’t cry, dose that make me a bad son? I try… I’m trying but I can’t even cry for my parents…” his head came down facing the ground though his hand was still covering his face, he felt like he could collapse any moment now.
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 18, 2006 19:28:03 GMT -5
Hearing that this was the spot he had fallen from, she couldn’t help but be a little curious. Stepping to the edge, she leaned slightly over the edge. The drop was a lot farther than she had expected. With a drop like that it was a miracle that he had survived. Turning back to him, she bit her lip again.
Apri’s heart felt as if it was being wrung out as he hid his face with his hand. Listening to his words, she couldn’t help but wish she could do something to help. Turning her head out to look at the setting sun, she looked for words… any words that might be able to help.
“No, Killian. You are not a bad son… How could a son, who cared so much for his mother, be considered bad?... Just because you’ve gone so long without crying… that does not mean that you do not feel the pain… the loss of loved ones…” Apri spoke softly, attempting to put soothing tones into her voice, but she did not know what to say or what to do. The last time she had managed to cheer him up, it was only to hurt him again afterwards. She didn’t want to hurt him again, he was already hurting enough.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 18, 2006 19:40:53 GMT -5
He wasn’t a bad son… but how could that be true? But Apricus wouldn’t lie to him… her voice wasn’t lying, it was comforting, she wasn’t leavening him to stand here alone, she was still there next to him. His legs where getting weaker as the knot in his chest grew tighter.
Slowly he sank down to the ground as he tried to cry. It hurt so bad… but, but… “I can’t… I can’t do it…” he had hurt her, his mother, it was his fault that she cried after he had gotten hurt, if he would have just been stronger, a little stronger.
One tear fell…
He had pushed everyone away, built a wall of smiles and laughter around himself to keep everyone out… leaving him alone, alone even when he was surrounded by people.
One more fell…
And then there was Apricus, doing everything she could to comfort him, when he knew she didn’t really want to be there… he had hurt her too… but she was trying so so hard… for him… he wasn’t worth it…
And more tears came,
Slowly but surely they flowed like the rain, silently as his chest tightened and his eyes continued to burn, he cried till he couldn’t cry anymore…
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 18, 2006 19:58:22 GMT -5
Apri watched as Killian finally fell to his knees, never taking his eyes off the ground. She watched, helplessly as the tears came, one by one to fall to the ground. There was nothing she could do… but at least… at least he had found a way to cry. At least he had managed to let it all out.
Standing there a moment, she decided to let him take his time and sat down next to him. Bringing her knees up to her chin, she gazed out to the sunset and waited patiently.
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 18, 2006 20:05:59 GMT -5
He let it all come out, silently and to him slowly. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt Apricus sit beside him, more silent tears. He didn’t know how long he had cried but he did start to regain control after a time. Leaning heavily on his stick he wiped his face dry before looking up but still in darkness. It had to be late, he could feel the sun directly on his face though he was not looking up.
“The sun is setting…” his voice was strained and his thought dry. He tried to clear it coughing and swallowing a few times. “Is… is it beautiful? I promised you a sunset and I gave you tears… I’m sorry.” He was just too weak… but not anymore, he would be strong for her and for the memory of his once happy family. “it was cloudy on the ship but now… I hope the sky is clear.”
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E
Raging Demoness
Posts: 978
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Post by E on Apr 18, 2006 20:16:16 GMT -5
Hearing his dry voice again, she turned to look at him. Grey, cloudy eyes were red and puffy from the tears. As the apology reached her ears, Apri couldn’t help but sigh in exasperation.
“Don’t be sorry Killian… And besides… You were right. It is beautiful… There are a few clouds, but it only helps to paint the sky… I wish you could see it… I think it would help…”
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Post by shawncameron on Apr 18, 2006 20:27:11 GMT -5
“I’m glad… and knowing you can see it… that helps.” He sighed and repositioned himself into a more comfortable position, letting his staff rest in the fold of his shoulder as he stared unseeing into the distance. He was happy just sitting in the conferrable silence with her and so he did.
He was quintet for some time but something in him, probably the Harper training, wouldn’t let him stay quiet for too long, “we used to jump off this ledge… the water is deep and relatively still… but I always liked he sunsets more.” He turned his head just a bit toward her, his smile small but real the mask gone, washed away by his tears and her presents. “So… what is it like compared to the mountains? I’ve seen this, but I never had a chance to see those.”
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